The Year I Let My Heart Go Asunder

Scraping into the basin with both hands

I let the waves lap against them,

pushing my giant hands to and fro.

The waves are gentle and they make my hands bob

like moths do when they're not being harassed by lights.

 

I am crouched down on the bank of Wellington Harbour

and I am huge as the hills.

I am squatting with my bottom on Khandallah,

my feet in the harbor and the water barely splashing my ankles.

 

When I stand, I am wondrous.

 

Get back! I want to cry out 

at the men in their cars and their ships and their helicopters

slowly circling.

Get away, don't look.

 

I push them, but not with my hands

just with my mind,

not hurting them but just bending –

bending them with my mind until they go.

Anne Brontë

If I were an insect, I might be a lightning bug

but you would call me a firefly.

If you were an insect you might be a crane fly.

I don’t know what I would call you.

You’re not my kind of daddy longlegs.

 

If you were a crane fly your legs would be deciduous,

meaning: tending to fall off, particularly at maturity.

You might still have them

but you’d be getting close to losing them.

We’re getting close to losing our immaturity.

 

I bought a book about leaves for my father

but I want to keep it for myself.

We live in the bush now and it takes too long to get anywhere

so I might just stay up here this year,

carrying his book with me along the trails behind our house.

I’ll buy a pair of binoculars and spy on all the birds

and think of them as my friends because the neighbour’s cats won’t talk to me,

they just stare at me through the windows until I move

and then hunch down under the porch.

 

If we were Brontë sisters,

I would be Anne and you would be Emily.

Nobody wants to be Charlotte.

This One Weird Trick

One weird trick for turning a witch into a meerkat

One weird trick for teaching a bear how to dance

One weird trick for casting a spell against omnipotence

One weird trick for removing a lima bean from your hat

One weird trick for keeping the bees away from your bonnet

One weird trick for holding a seance in your backyard

One weird trick for gesturing wildly in public

One weird trick for growing asparagus in a rainforest

One weird trick for eating pimento out of a walnut shell

One weird trick for having your friends over for tea

One weird trick for keeping air in all four tires

One weird trick for losing your dentures at the prom

One weird trick for fighting a ranger with a spear gun

One weird trick for counting your blessings before they hatch

One weird trick for learning how to sweep your own chimney

One weird trick for breathing in with your diaphragm

One weird trick for aligning your moon cup with your cervix

One weird trick for dyeing your wedding dress black

One weird trick for catching lightning bugs in your hands

One weird trick for opening chips without spilling them

One weird trick for avoiding men named after apostles

One weird trick for ending the war of the roses

One weird trick for joining the badminton team

One weird trick for drinking sulfuric acid in space

One weird trick for knotting cherry stems with your teeth

One weird trick for winning a cake decorating competition

One weird trick for handling a concussion

One weird trick for shouting louder than your friends

One weird trick for running a half marathon in your underpants

One weird trick for generating a black hole

One weird trick for holding onto a lit match

One weird trick for sneaking past security

One weird trick for climbing Jupiter’s moon Europa

One weird trick for hacking into the White House

One weird trick for spying on a family of geese

One weird trick for asking your parents for money

One weird trick for picking your nose in public

One weird trick for creating the world’s longest chain mail

One weird trick for turning a prince into a frog

One weird trick for hiking the Appalachian trail

One weird trick for playing baseball for the Yankees

One weird trick for flying from Saskatchewan to Hong Kong

One weird trick for landing the role of Ann Darrow

One weird trick for bathing your cat in a basin of milk

One weird trick for flushing your tampon down the toilet

One weird trick for brushing your hair upside down

One weird trick for whipping yogurt into cream

One weird trick for getting your best friend pregnant

One weird trick for cooking a steak

One weird trick for vacuuming fibers out of your carpet

One weird trick for changing a turtle into a tortoise

One weird trick for sleeping all the way through the night

Carolyn DeCarlo

Carolyn DeCarlo is an American writer living in New Zealand. She has written two chapbooks, Strawberry Hill (Pangur Ban Party 2013) and Green Place (forthcoming from Enjoy Journal, November 2015), and co-authored two more with Jackson Nieuwland: Twilight Zone (NAP 2013) and Bound: An Ode to Falling in Love (Compound Press 2014), the winner of Auckland Zinefest's Best Literary Zine of 2015. She holds an MFA in creative writing from the University of Maryland, College Park.

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